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Your tale of the history of the place reminds me of the ventriloquist, Roger de Courcey, and his furry dummy, Nookie Bear - who knew they had such connections?!
That last pic in post no.2 is of a rather skinny banana - Musa sp. Are you sure the gardener just didn't forget he'd laid those Habranthus bulbs on that log?They look a bit like eggs in a nest.
(note: no satnav in the Nicholson household, maps do just fine!).
You lucky man, having a girlfriend who can read maps
"You know I can't read whilst we're moving" and "I can't find my glasses". By which time...........................