Moan, moan, moan----get it off your chest or have a chat

[mark smyth]

lib'ry and Feb'ry 

[johnw]

John, you know, of course, that HRT is the cure for something quite different.

Right, but it might be a cure for them too. 

Better switch to HRI syndrome.

johnw

[mark smyth]

Time for some Norn Iron speak
flower - flar
power - par
tower - tar
water - wa'er
butter - bu'er
think - 'hink

[Maggi Young]

..... and the number of major drug dealers and major criminals seeking to launder their ill-gotten gains  $13.25 at a time must be HUGE, huh???



Banks are infuriating places..... I don't know whether to be relieved or even more irritated that they seem to be as bad everywhere.  I was asked to prove who I was when paying a cheque, made out to me, by me, into a savings account in my name.
Why? I ask.....
It's to protect against fraud, says the little twerp behind the counter.... He didn't seem to grasp that if I wished to perpetrate a fraud then the scenario I was enacting was not a very good way to go about it.... What thief pays a cheque to herself from an account of her own, into another account in her name?  


My chum went to the bank the other day to draw some cash. She went in and asked to withdraw the money from her savings account.....
 you can't she was told....
why not, she asks...
well, we can't ID you for that account, because you have it set up for telephone banking !
well, give me a phone, she says!
no, you'll have to fill in a form to transfer it to your current account and draw it from there.
So a long form has to be filled in, which includes the question.... what do you want the money for ?..... a query posed, imperiously, by the bank employee..... cue raise of 80 points in my chum's blood pressure.....remember this is HER money..... I think the bank employee will be out of intensive care by the new year!  

[Michael J Campbell]

Maggi, my wife went into a local bank to draw some cash from an account she had  for 30 years, and was only round the corner from a restaurant that she owned. The teller asked her for ID and would not give her the cash without it,I had to go home and get her passport. I opened the door of the bank and fired the passport at the teller missing  her by inches. My wife got the cash, and the teller got an earbashing from me.

[Tony Willis]

You may blame the banks which is quite fashionable but really it is that arm of the Government which failed to save us from the financial crisis- the FSA which is  to blame.It is they who have introduced lots of irritating rules the banks have to follow in their obsession with money laundering. If they had spent more time in looking at large issues instead of myriads of little ones we might not be in the mess we are.

[Paul T]

Mark,

Is the word Fly (and other words ending in a y) flattened to Fla (or flar) as well (I seem to hear that now a lot, just laziness in pronouncing the language, mixed with americanisation of english)?  If so, then a sentence by a pilot such as "I'll fly by the water tower" becomes hilarious..... I'll fla ba the wa'er tar.    I doubt I'd understand a word after hearing that for a while.  Then again, I've been asked many times where I came from in England, because I was taught to pronounce words proper-like!!    During University it was commented on a number of times.  I don't think I currently have quite as clipped a pronunciation as I used to though, eh? 

[mark smyth]

Paul have you heard yourself on TV or radio?

We say fly

[Paul T]

Mark,

No, i'm not famous enough to be on TV or radio.  You'd be a judge of what sort of accent I have, given that we've spoken on the phone.  I am aware that I do not pronounce words as clearly as I used to...... I'm much lazier now than when I was younger. 

[Martin Baxendale]

Something that really bugs me is when even BBC newsreaders drop the 'g' from the end of 'ing' endings. Apparently it's 'Estuary English' - something to do with areas around the Thames estuary - like doin' and seein' and thinkin' and comin'....

[PDJ]

I have noticed the number of people complaining about the way other people use the English language.  One thing worth bearing in mind is historically which is the correct pronunciation of a word after all your own way may have been considered wrong in the past before becoming acceptable.

[johnw]

On the subject of government bureaucracies from the Exchange thread (moved here) here's a good one.

Back in August a good friend who has lived here since 1968 and has not taken out Canadian citizenship decided she had better get on to renewing her Dutch (EU) passport which was to expire at the end of October.  She phoned the Dutch consulate here and got a recorded announcement saying "We regret to inform you the consulate has closed down, please call the following number for matters concerning passport renewals".  She called the number and after an hour's wait found out she was calling Washington, DC.  She was told that she had to come to Washington to be fingerprinted and apply for her passport there.  She told them they were mad.  After calling The Hague several times she was told she might be able go to Ottawa to be fingerprinted.  She called the Dutch Embassy in Ottawa  and was told there was no way around it but she could do it in Ottawa, there was simply no one reliable to do the fingerprinting in Halifax!  Furthermore they were open only three days a week 9 am -1 pm Monday, Wednesday and Friday, better stay 2 nights just in case.  Well she blew her stack but in the end phoned the airline and booked flights (circa $500), then booked a hotel room for two nights online. She calmed down but within a week she got an email saying "we hope you can re-book your flight as we will be closed the day of your appointment as your computer system is being upgraded".  This time she went ballistic all to no avail.  The $500 for airfare AND the hotel deposit was lost.  She had to re-book a flight now at $700 and the only hotel available was the Chateau Laurier $200+ a night.  Well she finally made it to Ottawa, arrived at the embassy address they gave her only to find out they had given her the wrong street number. Back in another cab to the correct address to find they gave her the wrong tower number and the wrong floor 2 instead of 22.  At the ambassor's office she was told her photograph was .5mm too small and she would have to have it re-done, no problem as there was a photographer just a half an hour's walk down the street.  She stormed into the assitant ambassor's office and caused such a stir they called for the official limo and drove her to the photographer's.  Returning she was told she should have the passport within 3 weeks. Three weeks later back home she had to cancel an appointment due to the weather, that was lucky as the courier arrived with her passport, an hour later and she would have been gone.  I got a frantic email when she read the notice on the courier pack, it said if this passport is not successfully delivered and signed for by the consignee it is to be returned immediately to Ottawa and can only be collected by the consignee in person.

Needless to say she is not the only one going through this ordeal. Students with no money have had to spend countless dollars travelling to Ottawa for their passports.  My friend has been in touch with the ombudsman overseeing the fiasco in The Hague. (By the way her niece in Friesland travelled to the Hague 7 times before she got her passport.)  Last week she had a call from the ambassador himself, impeccable Dutch and perfectly cool and slick telling her she possibly may not even need a passport if she doesn't intend to travel.  My friend, highly prone to hysteria, remained as cool as a cucumber and finished off by telling him he should read some Kafka if he has a moment.

Total bill - almost $2000.

Oh, by the way, her passport photo is a perfect representation of her state of mind the day it was done.

johnw

[mark smyth]

phew!

[mark smyth]

I drop the g 

Paul I could imagine you on Neighbours 

[Martin Baxendale]

I drop the g 

Paul I could imagine you on Neighbours 

I hadn't noticed, Mark. 

What I meant was that it bugs me when people on TV, especially news anchors, drop the g as an affectation. Apparently it's very fashionable in London these days to deliberately drop the g. Not sure why.